It's Not About Bathrooms

Are you old enough to remember this?  I'm not, but just barely not.  What a black eye on American society!  Separate but equal was anything but, in every way.

It wasn't about bathrooms then, and it's not about bathrooms now.  

Decades ago, when the fight for civil rights was in full swing, separate restroom facilities were nothing more than a way to make sure that whites didn't have to share facilities with blacks, a policy often couched in an air of being safe and appropriate for everyone. The novel (and movie) "The Help" began with a white family constructing a separate toilet room for their black nanny... framed as a health and safety issue.  Hardly!

The Obama administration stood up for transgender students and against hatred and bigotry on May 13th by issuing a directive that all school districts must allow students to use  restrooms for the gender they identify with.  

I agree with this wholeheartedly.  I cannot imagine how difficult life already is for these young people without having to worry about being bullied in a school bathroom.

I have been in plenty of restrooms alongside women whose appearance may suggest that they are transgender, and so what?  Women and transgender persons who identify as women enter the restroom, go into a stall, close the door and do their business.  They come out, wash their hands and go.  Men and transgender persons who identify as men do not have to stand at a public urinal in a mens room; they can use a stall in there as well. Frankly, this all seems like a non-issue, and it most often is.  But not to certain people who use fear as a way to try and advance their anti-LGBT causes.

One suggestion posed by some people is that public places could offer womens, mens, and an "either/or" option.  But why should transgender people have to go into a restroom like that and signify to people that they are an "other"?  Jennifer Finney Boylan speaks very eloquently to this point in an interview with Chris Matthews.  She was featured along with an anti-LGBT activist who, when pressed hard and rightfully so by Matthews, with the challenge, "Tell Jenny which bathroom she should use", had at first, no answer, but then eventually posed the "special restroom for those people" option.

The fact is that many public places already have a separate bathroom available to any gender, sometimes labeled as a "family" restroom where moms on their own with little boys or dads on their own with little girls can safely take them when the need arises and they are too small or young  to use the restrooms all by themselves. 

Presumably these facilities are available to transgender persons, but again, why should they have to make this choice?

And of course, if you've ever been to an outdoor music festival, art fair, fireworks show, county park, trail or public playground, you may have relieved yourself in a  unisex "restroom" like these...  they are available for anyone who needs them.

But now,  11 states are suing the federal government because they do not want to comply with the president's directive to schools.  Which states? States with Republican governors and legislatures.  That should tell us something.  And it's not good.

So what can we do?  What will I do?  

As a woman, an educator, a wife, a mother and a grandmother I will stand up  for the rights of transgender people because they deserve the same rights as the rest of us.  

As a Christian, I will not use religion as an excuse to deny rights to human beings because I believe that we are all children of God, all equal.  

As an American, I will vote for politicians and the party that stands up for and protects the rights of all.

Teaching Active Learners

When I first saw this video, I did not have the same reaction as everyone else in the room who oohed and aahed and thought that it was so cool that these hip and happening kids are digital natives and learn in such different ways.  Out with the old way of learning (and teaching) and in with the new!  

I was horrified and wondered what was going to happen to the art of conversation and the whole notion of personal connections.  Are all these kids marshmallow eaters?  Do they really not need to memorize anything ever because the device at their fingertips will access it all for them whenever they need it?  What will they do with the information once they get it?  Do they know how to determine whether a source is credible or not?  And what exactly is wrong with actually knowing some things from memory?  Doesn't the knowledge that we have internalized allow us to make connections and make sense of things when new stuff comes along?

Remember Wall-E?  

I thought that movie was wonderful for its social commentary.  The humans in it  were fat blobs who blobbed around in blobby floating chairs with their faces glued to screens in front of them.  Food and drink magically appeared for them and they never had to interact with others in person because everything was done via the screen in front of their faces.  When they actually bumped into each other skin-to-skin they freaked out and didn't know what to do.

As an educator, I try not to be on the end of the pendulum as it makes its way to the top of the cycle.  When new things come along I want to find ways for them to add to what is already tried and tested, but I'm also not afraid to let go of things that don't work.  It is important to think of technology in education as a way to enhance learning, but I don't ever want it to take over and supplant human interaction and conversation.  

I truly believe that human beings are social beings and construct knowledge in social ways.  Some of this can and must take place in an online platform.  We are in the 21st Century after all!  But as educators, we have to continue to teach students how to share ideas face to face, how to argue a point in a respectful way, and how to honor each other for the valuable and unique people they are.  We cannot replace human interaction.

So I can't say "Good Job!"... Now what?

How about any of the ideas offered up by this blog post from a Montessori teacher?  Check it out: "Trying to break the "Good Job" Habit?  These 21 Suggestions are for YOU."  Frankly, most of them could be adapted to be used with older students and... dare I say it... adult learners as well.

As a lifelong learner myself, I appreciate specific feedback.  The more detail, the better.  Perhaps I have transitioned from a praise junkie to a feedback junkie.  But that's what gets me engaged in learning and practicing and making the kinds of changes that result in improvement.  Imagine what would happen if an athletic coach only ever said "Good job" or "Bad job".  Athletes would not know what they were doing well or what they could change to get better.

Getting beyond "Good Job" takes a little practice, but it's worth it.  Using any of this blogger's strategies or any others like them can help our own children or our students more fully engage in their learning,  strengthen their growth mindset and increase their grittiness. 

Moments of Gratitude

Moments of Gratitude

Grateful to spend time with Harper!

 

Grateful for the view in the parking lot on the way in to work.

Grateful for this collaborative group of learners in MB3

Grateful to see this beautiful moon as I walked out my front door.

Welcome to the world Harper Elizabeth!

I am grateful for a safe delivery and for the honor of supporting my daughter and her husband as they welcomed this little pink blessing into their lives.

 

!

Play!

"Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. 

But for children play is serious learning. 

Play is really the work of childhood."

~ Fred Rogers ~ 

It's unfortunate that many children today will not have the same experiences with Mr. Rogers that my children and I did, unless they catch him on Netflix.  We spent a lot time in the land of make-believe with Mr. Rogers, wondering what Lady Elaine Fairchild and Daniel Striped Tiger might do next.

It is also unfortunate that some schools are cutting back on or eliminating altogether recess and unstructured play time for students. 

During my school finance course our groups researched the implementation of all day kindergarten in several suburban school districts.  I was shocked to find that St. Louis Park had eliminated all unstructured play time for kindergarten students, instituting instead "purposeful play" do be directed and supervised by adults.  How does this teach or encourage self-direction?  Kindergarten classrooms in Shakopee were stripped of their toys, including their play kitchen sets.  Teachers were upset by this new policy, but could do nothing about it.

"Play is the work of the child."

~ Maria Montessori ~

According to Montessori, the essential dimensions of play are:

• Voluntary, enjoyable, purposeful and spontaneous
• Creativity expanded using problem solving skills, social skills, language skills and physical skills
• Helps expand on new ideas
• Helps the child to adapt socially
• Helps to thwart emotional problems

I heard this often when I was a kid, "Go outside and play!"  I am amazed and I love it when I see children in my neighborhood running or biking or playing kick-the-can in the park.  Surely this is good for kids.  Surely this helps kids learn valuable life lessons.

Lest we lose heart completely, here is a story about a group of Florida parents who are fighting to keep recess in their children's public schools.  They will not go quietly, and I support their efforts!

 

Leadership

I've been on a leadership journey for a long time, and currently I am also on the student student side of educational leadership.  Through the University of St. Thomas I am earning my education specialist degree and an administrative license.  As part of the learning activities for my latest class I created the video below. 

 Check it out!

 

Leaning In

You've probably heard of Sheryl Sandberg.  She is the Facebook executive who wrote the book "Lean In" about women and leadership.  Her basic premise is that too many women do not pursue leadership - they lean back instead of leaning in.  A quick Google search will confirm that there are many, many, many more males than females in CEO and other upper level management positions of major companies.  You probably don't need a Google search to tell you that, but it will.  

I am an educator, and I tend to look at things through an educator's lens.  I'm also a progressive, and try to be socially conscious as well, and tend to seek ways to understand the social implications of politics and policy.  I'm also a woman, a mother of daughters, a soon-to-be-grandmother, and a wife.  All of these roles inform and impact everything I do.

I recently watched Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk: "Why we have too few women leaders".  I found it compelling.

She suggests that the the answer to this issue is to "keep women in the workforce".  I have been in the workforce for nearly all of my adult life, full time in a retail career, part time doing church youth work, and full time in education for the past twelve years.  I've also been an adult learner, charting a new course for my professional life halfway through; I earned a degree in education, a masters in education, and right now I'm working toward a specialist degree and admin license.  I'm not really sure that simply keeping women in the workforce is the solution.

Ms. Sandberg states that women need to do three things if they want to stay in the workforce:

1.  Sit at the table.  Not behind the guy sitting at the table, but chin up to the table as equals.

2.  Make your partner a real partner.  She's talking about your partner at home, and if you are a working mom with a partner, you understand how in a lot of cases, you get the larger share of housework and child duties.

3.  Don't leave before you leave.  As in, stay fully engaged until you walk out the door, especially if you are anticipating a maternity or other kind of leave.

I was struck by the tone of her message, and here is where my socially conscious radar went up.  When acknowledging how hard it is to go back to work after having a baby, Ms. Sandberg said, "that job you return to better be rewarding, challenging, and make you feel like you make a difference" because it is hard to leave your little one.  I thought, she must be talking to women of privilege who can make a choice to go back to work or not.  

What about the majority of women in the workforce for whom staying home is not an option?  What about the women in the workforce trying to support a family on minimum wage, or the women who have to work more than one job?

There was a time in my life when I didn't have to work and I had the luxury - yes, I thought it was a luxury - of staying home with my three daughters, caring for them and for our home.  It was a wonderful time and I treasured it because I knew I was doing important work.  I also remained fully aware that I was able to do that because my husband earned a lot of money.

I reject the notion that there is something wrong or that it is in some way,  less than total fulfillment when a woman chooses the "mommy track", for lack of a better term.  I reject the notion that women are letting down their career-minded sisters  when they make a choice to stay home, to work part-time, or to put family first.

Why are there too few women in leadership?  I still don't have an answer to that question.  But I don't think it's wrong to find fulfillment in a balanced life. 

So lean in.  Commit to your important relationships with renewed depth.   Use all your senses with heightened awareness when you experience the world around you.  Make it a goal to stretch yourself and learn something new every day.  Leaning in is about so much more than staying in the workforce.  It's about contributing, sharing, loving, leading.  I'm leaning in right now.