Does anybody see me? Do they like what they see?

The title of this post was originally supposed to be "relationships", but when I thought about writing, I could not get these two questions out of my mind.

In October I attended the Education Minnesota Conference in St. Paul.  This is a wonderful (free!) event that I wish more teachers would take advantage of.  Having said that, in full disclosure, I went on Thursday morning and then headed out of town... BUT - I was SO glad I attended Jonathan Friesen's session.  Admittedly, I chose it because by attending I earned the mental health CEU required for my teaching license renewal in Minnesota.  But in doing so I was moved beyond my mercenary pursuit of a credit hour.

 
Jonathan Friesen is a special education teacher and author with a particular heart for the tough kids.  As a child he was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome.  The stories of his his experiences being ostracized, bullied, and outright ignored broke my heart.  When he began his presentation he told us that he didn't have a fancy power point presentation or video to show us, but that he would leave us with a message we would remember.

"Does anybody see me?"  

"Do they like what they see?" 

How many of our students are invisible?  How often do we walk through the halls of our schools and miss an opportunity to make them visible?

The need to be noticed (even if we work hard not to stand out) is basic and primal.  Being significant and important to someone is affirming and moves us forward.  

When my girls were little we had a family doctor that told them all that children needed hugs in order to grow properly.  Sometimes one of them would come to me and say she needed her hug right now or she was going to stop growing.  

As teachers we may stop hugging our students physically as they get older, but do we remember to hug them emotionally by using their names, giving them our time, affirming their accomplishments, and never giving up on them?  I hope we do!

Last week I went to the musical at Chanhassen High School - "Urinetown" - and it was terrific.  The singing, dancing, and musicianship was top notch!  One of my former students was in the chorus, and he stood out because of the effort and enthusiasm he brought to his part.  He was a kid with a big heart, but not a lot of social skills, and not many friends.  I sought him out in school to tell him how much I enjoyed the show and how much I enjoyed his part in particular.  "But I was just part of the chorus", he said.  "Doesn't matter", I said.  "You stood out to me."

I saw you.  I liked what I saw.